Friday, March 7, 2008

Punish or Reward?

Okok... Which 1 better Punish or Reward? I mean in term of changing kid behaviour.. Emm...Ok put it in simple way.. When your child get bad bad result for exam (Cause too lazy 2 study), what you will do? The choices are:

1)Tell them 2 study harder next time (offer reward for achievement)
2)Cane them for being so lazy 2 study
3) Cane them for being so lazy and offer reward for future exam.

Okok to be honest, i prefer the 1st option, as i'm grown up in that situation. Still remember how my parent reward me n my sister for each exam we had. A little thing like "I will give you watch drama if u get good result". Reward for small children should not be always money as they do not know how 2 value it yet

Some parent practice option 2. In my humble opinion, caning does more harm than good to kid. Basically, caning is not a best way unless the child did something really wrong. Caning is something needed for those who that can think but need to be reminded. Okok i explain... In human development, 8 yrs old is the age where kid learn to know which thing is important n which is not. They learn on how 2 think from other perspective. So if they are mature enough n they still doing something wrong, then cane will be appropriate. If they still not mature to think, if u cane, wat they will get is just pain n sadness and do not know which is wrong or right.

So cannot cane..But making them understand is important. Say like "Nevermind for you to get average result, try harder as study is important"

Ok i say mature can cane, but if u cane teenager, they will hav aggresive reaction. At teenager age is where caning is useless and reward seems the better of all. In current society, reward seem useless too, cause teenager can get wat they want outside. So wat is the best way? Actually i dunno...I'm still thinking in that issues... Maybe if u mould them from young when in teenager they will be good..

Option 3, combination of both. Use for minor mistake and reward for encouragement. In research, this shown to be the best way. See the link below to know more...

In summary, the way that best depend on the age. But i think the best way of all is through Education from parent. Say "How can you get such bad result? I already told you to study but you do not.. So now wat will happen? If you did not study well next time go clean the toilet." That is very prominent in our society. Think again,...How about saying "Hmm.. I know that you did not put much effort in studying this few weeks, that why u get such an average result. How about try harder next time, If you get higher mark than this time I'll..."

http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0009-3920%28197106%2942%3A2%3C537%3ATEORAP%3E2.0.CO%3B2-V&size=LARGE&origin=JSTOR-enlargePage
(Can't give u the full reading, copyright issues)

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